Baby Radar

What inescapable law of nature is it, do you suppose, that dictates that any child on any flight will cry at ear splitting decibels for almost the entire length of the journey and inevitably stop and fall asleep ten minutes prior to landing? Its the equivalent of a human egg timer for any one using laptops, gameboys and mp3 players on a plane.

1. Uninterrupted wailing for four hours.

2. Absence of screaming for thirty seconds

3. Announcement: At this time, please turn off all portable electronics and return all trays and seats to their up right locked positions.

Do babies have some undiscovered psychic link to air traffic control? Its uncanny.

Solace in the Arms of Three Lions

Despite a miserable week and depressing outlook on life at the moment, there is hope. That hope is the World Cup. Specifically England in the World Cup. 

We played our last two international friendlies this week beating Hungary 3-1 and this morning, I got up early to watch us play Jamaica. We just won 6-0.
Good things are coming. It's been exactly 40 years since we won the world cup. We've got our retro kits this year. I'm sporting my own England jersey with my Corona boxers this morning. Sexy!

So, here's my disclaimer: the next four weeks are all World Cup. I shall be distracted and potentially uncommunicative. So it'll be just like now only I'll be mumbling to myself out loud about football instead of the usual annoyances. How sweet it is.

Good luck out there to rest of you one billion viewers supporting your national teams but make way, the three lions are coming through!

[Editor's note: should all communication cease abruptly prior to the World Cup Final on 9th July, please check team standings and obituaries.]