I have brain damage. I think I caught it at work. I’ve been working a lot of extra hours this week. I have 397 emails in my inbox at the moment…68 are urgent and require my immediate attention…how do you give immediate attention to 68 different things?…my brain is reaching capacity.
We use 10% of our brains or something like that (although, I’m pretty sure highly evolved being that I am, I’m pushing the 11.3% boundary), whatever my allotment of brain space may be I’m using 99.7% of it for work to keep all my current information straight and hopefully avoid any major screw ups on my part. Major screw ups on the behalf of others is far preferable reputation-wise despite any cursing and extra work it may cause me indirectly…I digress.
So with only 0.3% of usable space in my brain left over for mundane day to day items such as cooking, knowing where I left my phone and inconvenient little bits like speaking, I am developing a severe case of brain damage. It is most commonly manifested in my inability to communicate anything not work related.
Well spoken and articulate with all and sundry in the corporate community, I come home and fail to grasp simple words like “laptop” and "fan" leaving my vocal chords to stammer incomprehensibly to people around me about moving the “foldy-machine-thingy” (read: laptop) and turning off the "whirly-bit" (read: ceiling fan).
Yesterday I was writing an email to an account trying to explain why a reconciliation was still pending [read: late] and someone started speaking to me about a cup of tea I'd left nearby…subsequent email was very nearly sent with a line that read: “difficulty reconciling the RA deductions as we are currently drinking.” Classy.
